I am having a post chemo CT scan tomorrow... I'm feeling a little nervous but I'm very confident that it will be clean :) I know I have all of you pulling for me so I'll go into the test feeling very loved and supported! Thank you!!!
I went for my radiation consult yesterday and I will not be having the therapy at this point in the game. It's complicated, but long story short, the risks may very well outweigh the benefits so we are opting not to do it.
Happy to say I'm feeling more like myself each and every day. It's so darn challenging when I feel so bad post chemo to remember that it does indeed pass... it's simply amazing what the human body is capable of! Make sure you take good care of yours cause it's pretty darn awesome.
Busy weekend coming up in my neighborhood, happy PRIDE San Diego!
Lots of love, Reba
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
WAY overdue!
Hello All!
I'd like to start by apologizing for being tardy in blogging. I've had a couple of you ask what's up?! Well, my energy level this time is taking longer than I'd like to bounce back. I didn't really want to blog today either but I knew it was time and I figured it might perk me up a little :)
Last week was challenging but I'm happy to report I only threw up once (there is always a bright side). Oh, and I fell down once too ;) 3 am and I tripped myself, did a face plant into the coffee table and had a nice little black and blue cheek for several days. This past Saturday I experienced HELL Day. It's how I refer to the day in this recovery process that I hit rock bottom, face first. Friday was a treacherous night of insomnia. When I did fall asleep early Saturday morning, it was a fitful sleep filled with nightmares. Needless to say, Saturday was a horrible day of exhaustion, brain fog and literally feeling like I had been hit by a truck. I begged the powers that be to PLEASE let this be the worst of of it. Someone listened because when I woke up Sunday I definitely knew I'd turn the corner. My goodness, the difference a day can make! While I'm not exactly doing cartwheels just yet, and today I woke up with some laryngitis, I finally feel like I'm heading in the right direction. Now if my energy would just return... patience, right?
I visited with Dr. Xavier this morning. Even though my chemo is over there will now be lots of misc. things to do. The first is my consultation with the Radiology Oncologist, Dr. Mansey, this Weds. regarding a possible Brachytherapy. It is merely a consultation, suggested by the Tumor Board when they reviewed my file. I honestly do not know much about it but will have more to report after Weds. appointment.
Other things on the horizon are CT/Body scans, genetic testing, various cancer screenings, monitoring my anemia, reconnecting with my primary care physician and who knows what else at this point! While I've reached a major milestone, my journey is far from over.
I'm looking forward to seeing my primary as he and I have always worked on a natural supplementation plan for optimizing health. I'm looking forward to seeing what I can incorporate now to help boost my system naturally post chemo/cancer. I'm also very interested in a natural way to help with the menopause symptoms I'm dealing with [HOT FLASHES]. Why not HRT (hormone replacement therapy) you ask? Well HRT has shown to increase one's odds of developing breast cancer and that's the last thing I want at this point!
I decided the other night that now that there are no more chemo treatments on the horizon I want to blog with more regularity. My goal is to write something each week, either Monday or Tuesday, depending on doc appts, etc. Sound good?!
I'm kind of feeling a little disappointed today. I guess somehow with this being my last chemo, I slipped on my really powerful rose-colored glasses and thought this one would somehow be really simple and I'd bounce right back and get on with things! Reality is, it kicked my butt good, I'm really tired, I realize there is still much work to do and although my life will pick up again and resume some degree of normalcy, life as I knew it will never be quite the same. This makes me tear up and makes my heart hurt just a little but I'm a survivor and I'm determined to make my life the best if can possibly be. Yeah, it will be different...never again will I live with the blissful naivety of not knowing a grave illness and all it's ill effects from the inside out.
On a positive note, never again will I see only flaws in the mirror. I will be much less critical of my world in general. I hopefully will never complain about "having to work out" being thankful to simply be "able to work out". Going to work will be a privilege! I will laugh harder, love deeper, expand my viewpoints, open my mind, help when I can... I will smile, sit quietly and just be. I will feel the sun, breath in the air, admire the colors in my world with a renewed sense of appreciation. Life is really good my friends, don't ever forget that!
I've been to the edge. It wasn't pretty. I'm healing. It will take time. I'm alive. So much life ahead of me. The possibilities are limitless... now that's exciting!
Love, Reba
I'd like to start by apologizing for being tardy in blogging. I've had a couple of you ask what's up?! Well, my energy level this time is taking longer than I'd like to bounce back. I didn't really want to blog today either but I knew it was time and I figured it might perk me up a little :)
Last week was challenging but I'm happy to report I only threw up once (there is always a bright side). Oh, and I fell down once too ;) 3 am and I tripped myself, did a face plant into the coffee table and had a nice little black and blue cheek for several days. This past Saturday I experienced HELL Day. It's how I refer to the day in this recovery process that I hit rock bottom, face first. Friday was a treacherous night of insomnia. When I did fall asleep early Saturday morning, it was a fitful sleep filled with nightmares. Needless to say, Saturday was a horrible day of exhaustion, brain fog and literally feeling like I had been hit by a truck. I begged the powers that be to PLEASE let this be the worst of of it. Someone listened because when I woke up Sunday I definitely knew I'd turn the corner. My goodness, the difference a day can make! While I'm not exactly doing cartwheels just yet, and today I woke up with some laryngitis, I finally feel like I'm heading in the right direction. Now if my energy would just return... patience, right?
I visited with Dr. Xavier this morning. Even though my chemo is over there will now be lots of misc. things to do. The first is my consultation with the Radiology Oncologist, Dr. Mansey, this Weds. regarding a possible Brachytherapy. It is merely a consultation, suggested by the Tumor Board when they reviewed my file. I honestly do not know much about it but will have more to report after Weds. appointment.
Other things on the horizon are CT/Body scans, genetic testing, various cancer screenings, monitoring my anemia, reconnecting with my primary care physician and who knows what else at this point! While I've reached a major milestone, my journey is far from over.
I'm looking forward to seeing my primary as he and I have always worked on a natural supplementation plan for optimizing health. I'm looking forward to seeing what I can incorporate now to help boost my system naturally post chemo/cancer. I'm also very interested in a natural way to help with the menopause symptoms I'm dealing with [HOT FLASHES]. Why not HRT (hormone replacement therapy) you ask? Well HRT has shown to increase one's odds of developing breast cancer and that's the last thing I want at this point!
I decided the other night that now that there are no more chemo treatments on the horizon I want to blog with more regularity. My goal is to write something each week, either Monday or Tuesday, depending on doc appts, etc. Sound good?!
I'm kind of feeling a little disappointed today. I guess somehow with this being my last chemo, I slipped on my really powerful rose-colored glasses and thought this one would somehow be really simple and I'd bounce right back and get on with things! Reality is, it kicked my butt good, I'm really tired, I realize there is still much work to do and although my life will pick up again and resume some degree of normalcy, life as I knew it will never be quite the same. This makes me tear up and makes my heart hurt just a little but I'm a survivor and I'm determined to make my life the best if can possibly be. Yeah, it will be different...never again will I live with the blissful naivety of not knowing a grave illness and all it's ill effects from the inside out.
On a positive note, never again will I see only flaws in the mirror. I will be much less critical of my world in general. I hopefully will never complain about "having to work out" being thankful to simply be "able to work out". Going to work will be a privilege! I will laugh harder, love deeper, expand my viewpoints, open my mind, help when I can... I will smile, sit quietly and just be. I will feel the sun, breath in the air, admire the colors in my world with a renewed sense of appreciation. Life is really good my friends, don't ever forget that!
I've been to the edge. It wasn't pretty. I'm healing. It will take time. I'm alive. So much life ahead of me. The possibilities are limitless... now that's exciting!
Love, Reba
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Why did I procrastinate?
Instead of cleaning and preparing for tomorrow over the last couple days, I chose to postpone until this evening. So now it's after 10 p.m. and I'm waiting on my laundry to finish and I still need to vacuum ;) Must have a clean house to come home to!
I check back into Mercy at 10 a.m. tomorrow. Chemo will probably start around 1 or 2 and on July 4th it will end. I am so thankful this is the last round... SO exciting. I'm depending on all of you for prayers and good thoughts. Let's think extra positive and make this the easiest round yet! Deal?!
Today is Tate Thomas' 2nd birthday! I went with Brenna to have his 2-year old pictures taken and then the 3 of us had a yummy lunch. It was a beautiful day and I could not have spent it in a better way. I was also able to swing by work and say hello to everyone :) That's always a good thing!
So Round 4, here I come! I'll be in touch again post chemo...
Wishing you all a safe and happy 4th!!! Love, Reba
I check back into Mercy at 10 a.m. tomorrow. Chemo will probably start around 1 or 2 and on July 4th it will end. I am so thankful this is the last round... SO exciting. I'm depending on all of you for prayers and good thoughts. Let's think extra positive and make this the easiest round yet! Deal?!
Today is Tate Thomas' 2nd birthday! I went with Brenna to have his 2-year old pictures taken and then the 3 of us had a yummy lunch. It was a beautiful day and I could not have spent it in a better way. I was also able to swing by work and say hello to everyone :) That's always a good thing!
So Round 4, here I come! I'll be in touch again post chemo...
Wishing you all a safe and happy 4th!!! Love, Reba
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Let's wrap this up with a BANG!
I met with Dr. Xavier yesterday morning. I was so honored to be her first patient in the new Cancer Center! Everything was brand spanking new and shiney :) She is such an amazing doctor and an even more amazing person... I just know she is going to do great things in her new space.
Dr. X confirmed my FINAL chemo will be July 1. It will end on July 4!!! How appropriate ;) If I get a room on the side of the hospital I usually do, I should be able to see some fireworks from downtown and from Sea World!!! That will be really fun. Watching the fireworks, I will be sending lot's of love and thanks to all of you for your support through all of this.
The last chemo will be followed by a radiation consult on July 14. It will most likely happen... a mere safeguard and at this point I'd much rather be safe than sorry! It's a one-time treatment with very little effect on me (nothing like chemo) so why not?!
After chemo and radiation, I will start having body scans at 6 week intervals, moving out to 3 month intervals. At the one year mark it will be 6 month intervals. WHEN I make it to the two year mark "clean" I will be deemed "cured". *BIG SIGH* Dr. X summarized my cancer to her new intern yesterday... "if it doesn't kill you in the first couple weeks, you can be cured".
This last round of chemo was a tough one. I'm bouncing back just a bit slower than previously but I'm bouncing back ;) X is going to replicate my 2nd chemo this time round. #2 was the most agreeable with me so I'm feeling very optimistic. Even if it is challenging, the fact that it is the final one makes it bearable!
Lots of shout outs this week... to all my "end of June/beginning of July birthday" buddies, have a happy! You know who you are ;) Most importantly, happy birthday to Tate! I can't believe my little Grandson is already two... time truly does fly. I love you little man.
The best birthday present this year is the fact that I'm here for this birthday! YaY me!!!!
xo Reba
Dr. X confirmed my FINAL chemo will be July 1. It will end on July 4!!! How appropriate ;) If I get a room on the side of the hospital I usually do, I should be able to see some fireworks from downtown and from Sea World!!! That will be really fun. Watching the fireworks, I will be sending lot's of love and thanks to all of you for your support through all of this.
The last chemo will be followed by a radiation consult on July 14. It will most likely happen... a mere safeguard and at this point I'd much rather be safe than sorry! It's a one-time treatment with very little effect on me (nothing like chemo) so why not?!
After chemo and radiation, I will start having body scans at 6 week intervals, moving out to 3 month intervals. At the one year mark it will be 6 month intervals. WHEN I make it to the two year mark "clean" I will be deemed "cured". *BIG SIGH* Dr. X summarized my cancer to her new intern yesterday... "if it doesn't kill you in the first couple weeks, you can be cured".
This last round of chemo was a tough one. I'm bouncing back just a bit slower than previously but I'm bouncing back ;) X is going to replicate my 2nd chemo this time round. #2 was the most agreeable with me so I'm feeling very optimistic. Even if it is challenging, the fact that it is the final one makes it bearable!
Lots of shout outs this week... to all my "end of June/beginning of July birthday" buddies, have a happy! You know who you are ;) Most importantly, happy birthday to Tate! I can't believe my little Grandson is already two... time truly does fly. I love you little man.
The best birthday present this year is the fact that I'm here for this birthday! YaY me!!!!
xo Reba
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Home again!
Ok so Round 3 wasn't quite as smooth as the previous one but I'm happy to say I'm home, for the second time, and am feeling immensely better :)
It started off okay. I went in with high spirits and all was progressing nicely. One day while walking laps I got on the scale in the hallway... you see I'm obsessed with scales now because I'm so thin and it's such a treat to see those low numbers ;) Hey you gotta find the perks where you can in this journey! So I pop on the scale and up comes a big red blinking 141. What?! Wait a minute... that's my old weight! Scale must be off. So I shuffle off to the other side of the floor and climb on that scale. Same number! Yikes, better let my nurse know about this. Turns out I had indeed gained about 23 pounds in fluids. Dr. X wanted to be sure my kidneys stayed good and flushed so she really had the fluids pumping. A lasix pill and lots of trips to ladies room put me back at my current weight of about 118 :) A couple people have told me I looked a bit like a cherry tomato in the face with all that fluid. Ha ha ha!
Friday night. I'm feeling pretty good and am anxious to get home and settle in and eat my own food. Hospital food is just yucky for some reason... I was eating just fine but really wanted to be home. I usually stay until Saturday morning but X agreed I could go. Off I went and being home felt great. I slept so good Friday night and woke up feeling pretty decent Saturday. Didn't think to take my anti-nausea medicine and the next thing I knew I was s-i-c-k. Hit me like a ton of bricks. Every time I barely moved I was violently ill. I should have called X right away but for some reason I thought it would pass. It didn't. When Louisa came by in the afternoon, she took one look at me, called X right away and off to the hospital we went.
Thank goodness the lovely nurse, Annette, was still in the Out-patient Infusion Room at the hospital so I didn't have to endure the whole ER admit nightmare. Annette started IVs of fluids and anti-nauseas. I had to be readmitted and spent 2 more nights in. I'm pretty sure these were the toughest days yet for me. Turns out my blood sugar had really dropped as well so I had zero energy. Just standing up was difficult. But as amazing as our bodies are, I have bounced back once again, with the help of some sugar water and sterioids. I came home yesterday and feel remarkably good again. I'm taking my anti-nauseas ;)
Right now the plan is to have my fianl round the beginning of July. X says she's thinking of ending with a big bang...?! kind of scary but she knows best! She has apologized profusely for this round making me so ill and has a gameplan in mind for next time to avoid this from happening again. I told her we both were over confident with Round 2 having gone so well. She also mentioned I will be seeing a Oncology Radiologist for an evaluation after my final round. The source tumor was a very slow growing tumor vs. the crazy fast growing offshoot one. Chemotherapy works best on fast growing tumors. They Tumor Board regulary reviews my case and they feel it may be advantageous to to some follow-up radiation. Nothing set in stone yet, just an evaluation when all is said and done. X promised the radiation, while it can have it's own side effects, does not generally produce nasuea ;) Fair enough!
Well peeps, this is a long blog and I'm getting a little pooped. I can not believe it's already the middle of June. Wow. Big shout out to Tate Thomas Oakely who will be turning 2 in 2 weeks (June 30)! Happy Birthday my sweet Grandson. Love you so much!!!
Love you all as well!!! xoxo Reba
It started off okay. I went in with high spirits and all was progressing nicely. One day while walking laps I got on the scale in the hallway... you see I'm obsessed with scales now because I'm so thin and it's such a treat to see those low numbers ;) Hey you gotta find the perks where you can in this journey! So I pop on the scale and up comes a big red blinking 141. What?! Wait a minute... that's my old weight! Scale must be off. So I shuffle off to the other side of the floor and climb on that scale. Same number! Yikes, better let my nurse know about this. Turns out I had indeed gained about 23 pounds in fluids. Dr. X wanted to be sure my kidneys stayed good and flushed so she really had the fluids pumping. A lasix pill and lots of trips to ladies room put me back at my current weight of about 118 :) A couple people have told me I looked a bit like a cherry tomato in the face with all that fluid. Ha ha ha!
Friday night. I'm feeling pretty good and am anxious to get home and settle in and eat my own food. Hospital food is just yucky for some reason... I was eating just fine but really wanted to be home. I usually stay until Saturday morning but X agreed I could go. Off I went and being home felt great. I slept so good Friday night and woke up feeling pretty decent Saturday. Didn't think to take my anti-nausea medicine and the next thing I knew I was s-i-c-k. Hit me like a ton of bricks. Every time I barely moved I was violently ill. I should have called X right away but for some reason I thought it would pass. It didn't. When Louisa came by in the afternoon, she took one look at me, called X right away and off to the hospital we went.
Thank goodness the lovely nurse, Annette, was still in the Out-patient Infusion Room at the hospital so I didn't have to endure the whole ER admit nightmare. Annette started IVs of fluids and anti-nauseas. I had to be readmitted and spent 2 more nights in. I'm pretty sure these were the toughest days yet for me. Turns out my blood sugar had really dropped as well so I had zero energy. Just standing up was difficult. But as amazing as our bodies are, I have bounced back once again, with the help of some sugar water and sterioids. I came home yesterday and feel remarkably good again. I'm taking my anti-nauseas ;)
Right now the plan is to have my fianl round the beginning of July. X says she's thinking of ending with a big bang...?! kind of scary but she knows best! She has apologized profusely for this round making me so ill and has a gameplan in mind for next time to avoid this from happening again. I told her we both were over confident with Round 2 having gone so well. She also mentioned I will be seeing a Oncology Radiologist for an evaluation after my final round. The source tumor was a very slow growing tumor vs. the crazy fast growing offshoot one. Chemotherapy works best on fast growing tumors. They Tumor Board regulary reviews my case and they feel it may be advantageous to to some follow-up radiation. Nothing set in stone yet, just an evaluation when all is said and done. X promised the radiation, while it can have it's own side effects, does not generally produce nasuea ;) Fair enough!
Well peeps, this is a long blog and I'm getting a little pooped. I can not believe it's already the middle of June. Wow. Big shout out to Tate Thomas Oakely who will be turning 2 in 2 weeks (June 30)! Happy Birthday my sweet Grandson. Love you so much!!!
Love you all as well!!! xoxo Reba
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