WAY overdue!

Hello All!

I'd like to start by apologizing for being tardy in blogging.  I've had a couple of you ask what's up?!  Well, my energy level this time is taking longer than I'd like to bounce back.  I didn't really want to blog today either but I knew it was time and I figured it might perk me up a little  :) 

Last week was challenging but I'm happy to report I only threw up once (there is always a bright side).  Oh, and I fell down once too ;)  3 am and I tripped myself, did a face plant into the coffee table and had a nice little black and blue cheek for several days.  This past Saturday I experienced HELL Day.  It's how I refer to the day in this recovery process that I hit rock bottom, face first.  Friday was a treacherous night of insomnia.  When I did fall asleep early Saturday morning, it was a fitful sleep filled with nightmares.  Needless to say, Saturday was a horrible day of exhaustion, brain fog and literally feeling like I had been hit by a truck.  I begged the powers that be to PLEASE let this be the worst of of it.  Someone listened because when I woke up Sunday I definitely knew I'd turn the corner.  My goodness, the difference a day can make!  While I'm not exactly doing cartwheels just yet, and today I woke up with some laryngitis, I finally feel like I'm heading in the right direction.  Now if my energy would just return...  patience, right?

I visited with Dr. Xavier this morning.  Even though my chemo is over there will now be lots of misc. things to do.  The first is my consultation with the Radiology Oncologist, Dr. Mansey, this Weds. regarding a possible Brachytherapy.  It is merely a consultation, suggested by the Tumor Board when they reviewed my file.  I honestly do not know much about it but will have more to report after Weds. appointment.

Other things on the horizon are CT/Body scans, genetic testing, various cancer screenings,  monitoring my anemia, reconnecting with my primary care physician and who knows what else at this point!  While I've reached a major milestone, my journey is far from over.

 I'm looking forward to seeing my primary as he and I have always worked on a natural supplementation plan for optimizing health.  I'm looking forward to seeing what I can incorporate now to help boost my system naturally post chemo/cancer.  I'm also very interested in a natural way to help with the menopause symptoms I'm dealing with [HOT FLASHES].  Why not HRT (hormone replacement therapy) you ask?  Well HRT has shown to increase one's odds of developing breast cancer and that's the last thing I want at this point!

I decided the other night that now that there are no more chemo treatments on the horizon I want to blog with more regularity.  My goal is to write something each week, either Monday or Tuesday, depending on doc appts, etc.  Sound good?!

I'm kind of feeling a little disappointed today.  I guess somehow with this being my last chemo, I slipped on my really powerful rose-colored glasses and thought this one would somehow be really simple and I'd bounce right back and get on with things!  Reality is, it kicked my butt good, I'm really tired, I realize there is still much work to do and although my life will pick up again and resume some degree of normalcy, life as I knew it will never be quite the same.  This makes me tear up and makes my heart hurt just a little but I'm a survivor and I'm determined to make my life the best if can possibly be.  Yeah, it will be different...never again will I live with the blissful naivety of not knowing a grave illness and all it's ill effects from the inside out. 

On a positive note, never again will I see only flaws in the mirror.  I will be much less critical of my world in general.  I hopefully will never complain about "having to work out" being thankful to simply be "able to work out".  Going to work will be a privilege!  I will laugh harder, love deeper, expand my viewpoints, open my mind, help when I can... I will smile, sit quietly and just be.  I will feel the sun, breath in the air, admire the colors in my world with a renewed sense of appreciation.  Life is really good my friends, don't ever forget that!

I've been to the edge.  It wasn't pretty.  I'm healing.  It will take time.  I'm alive.  So much life ahead of me.  The possibilities are limitless...  now that's exciting!

Love, Reba